Near's Plushie Collection
by kori hime
Summary: The adventures of Near's plushies that are all disturbingly dead-on likenesses of everyone he knows. Some are happy, some aren't, but all have plushies! 4th installment: 'Rester REALLY needs a vacation. B Plushie/Mello Plushie.'
1. Kiss The Mello Plushie

"...Matt."

"Yeah?"

"...what is that?"

"A plushie, obviously. I thought you were a genius, Mello"

Twitch. "Let me rephrase that. Who is that a plushie OF?"

"Again, obviously, it's you. Man, you're having an off day."

Another twitch. A hand placed on the butt of a gun. "Matt, why do you have plushie of me?"

"I thought it was cute. Don't you?"

Plushie Mello waves at real Mello. A third twitch. "...where did you get that?"

"Nowhere special."

A gun is cocked and pointed. "Again, where did you get it?"

"...you have to put the gun away first."

The gun is put away, for now. "Well?"

The Mello plushie kisses real Mello's cheek. "From Near's private collection."

The gun is cocked again, and Mello is furious. Bang. Bang. BANG! The Mello plushie is no more. Matt frowns. "You didn't have to do that..."

"Shut. Up."

"But-"

After that, Matt gave up on talking because Mello put his mouth to much better uses while the forgotten Mello plushie watched with its stuffing spread out all over.  



	2. The Lonely Plushie

"You don't have any dolls or finger puppets of me like you do of everyone else do you...?"

"No, Matt, I do not."

Sigh of relief. Shuffle to leave. Pause. "Wait, then who is that of?"

"It is Matt, of course."

"...but you just said..."

"I have no dolls or finger puppets of Matt, but I do have a plushie of him."

Silence. Matt plushie is with a Mello plushie while a Near plushie is sitting, neglected. "...what are you making those plushies do...?"

"They are acting like Mello and Matt usually do."

Another silence. Widening of eyes. "Wait, Near! How do you know about that!? Don't put the plushies like that!"

Mello plushie and Matt plushie kiss and do...other things. Near points to the plushie of himself that is not neglected but watching. Matt takes a moment to think then blushes.

"Near! When the hell did you become a voyeur!?"

Matt snatches the Mello and Matt plushies, leaving the Near plushie alone. Matt leaves with the plushies. "Ah, alone again."

Near stood to play with other toys, leaving the Near plushie alone and neglected. What good was one plushie with out the others?


	3. Plushie Fairytale

**SPOILERS for all of the series.**

Once upon a time, there was an L plushie. It was the cutest plushie in all the land, so he had three little plushies that wanted to be as cute as him. They all were cute plushies, in their own ways. Near plushie was pure white and soft. Mello plushie was covered in leather but smelled of chocolate. Matt plushie came with a small video game in his hands and adorable little goggles.

L plushie could not decide which plushie to chose as his successor, so in his mind, they would all be his successor. Of course, he would only tell them when he came back from finding the Kira plushie that was making all the bad plushies have the stuffing knocked out of them, permanently.

Mello plushie was not a patient plushie. He wanted to be L's successor as the cutest plushie, _now_. Near plushie was not as impatient as Mello and just built dice towers with dice that L plushie had given him. Matt plushie was neutral on the whole thing; he had wanted to be L's successor, but there was just too much _effort_ involved. Matt plushie decided he would rather take care of his Tamagotchi.

Soon, the three plushies had heard that Kira plushie had gotten to L plushie, stuffing knocked everywhere. The three plushies found out a few nights after L plushie's birthday. Although, they did not know that L plushie was actually just abducted by Light plushie, who was actually Kira plushie, to have his way with L plushie. When L plushie had found about the plans, L plushie did not fight it but tricked Light plushie into giving up his Kira plushie ways.

L plushie had successful seduced Light plushie from being Kira plushie, but the three other plushies did not find out soon enough. Mello plushie was raging while Matt plushie and Near plushie silently watched him. Mello plushie angrily turned on both of them.

Matt plushie decided that kissing Mello plushie was the best way to calm him down. It worked, for a moment. That was until Mello plushie punched Matt plushie, sending Matt plushie into Near plushie. Matt plushie rubbed at the pain in his head, but Near plushie inched closer and placed a kiss on Matt plushie's head, making all the pain go away.

Mello plushie made an angry face while Matt plushie grinned. Mello plushie stomped over to Matt plushie and pulled him away from Near plushie as if saying 'mine!' Near plushie stood silently then unexpectedly kissed Mello plushie. Mello plushie was surprised as Matt plushie joined in by-

"Near?" A voice broke through the imaginary plushie world, and Near looked up to see Gevanni.

"Yes, Gevanni?" Near asked as he put his plushie self on the makeshift bed made for the Near, Mello, and Matt plushie to 'play' on.

Gevanni glanced at the plushies and noticed not only the three plushie on the bed, but an L and Kira plushie lying on top of each other on a plushie strawberry cake. Gevanni was confused for a moment, but noticed that that there was a Near plushie with the Mello and Matt plushie. Near never played with figurine or plushies with his own likeness, except during the Kira case.

"Uh..." he said eloquently.

Near stared him down, making Gevanni gulp. "Did you interrupt me for no reason, Gevanni? If so, I shall be very cross with you," Near said unhappily as he stood. "Is there a call for L?"

Gevanni nodded. "Yes, there is, sir," he said, gaining his composure back, as he handed Near the case files. "Will you take on the case?"

Near scanned the papers, finding nothing out of ordinary about the case that needed his immediate response. "No, I don't think I will," Near said as he sat back down on the floor with his plushies. "I do not wish to be disturbed for the rest of the evening, Gevanni. Send Rester if there's anything of great importance."

"I will, sir," Gevanni said, although it hurt to be blown off like that.

As Gevanni left, he noticed that Near had a smile on his face as he looked lovingly at the Mello and Matt plushies. Gevanni frowned, but he left because it was none of his business. Who was he to stop Near from living in his fairytale if it did not affect his work in the real world? Because being L, that was all really mattered.


	4. Rester And The Plushie Pile

**This plushie fic is bit more amusing than my other ones, I think because this ends humorously instead of angsty. All I have to say is poor Rester.**

* * *

Rester was beginning to think that he needed a vacation. Really, he needed to get away from Near. Well, not Near, per say, just his strange toys. Mainly the creepy plushies that were always sprawled across the floor even after Lidner had made Near put them away.

At first, when Rester had noticed Near played with toys almost every second of everyday, it had irritated him greatly. Unfortunately, Near said that playing with the toys kept his reasoning well above those of normal human beings, so Rester could not argue. Now, he just wanted these plushies locked away. Would Near noticed if he had just destroyed the plushies? Near had SO many other toys he could play with.

Rester sighed when he noticed that the plushies had striking resemblances to people in Near's life, so no, Rester could not destroy the plushies without calling Near's wrath upon himself. He had heard an angry Near was something fierce, and he never wanted to experience it himself.

While leaving the main room, Rester tripped, landing face first into a huge pile of plushies. He sat up angrily and looked for what had tripped him. It had been two plushies that were not in the pile with the rest. One, he recognized immediately as Mello. Rester had seen this plushie in Near's hands plenty of times, but it looked different. It had a huge grin and glowing eyes, just like the real Mello had had. Rester gulped then chastised himself when the thought of possessed plushies came to mind.

Before he could get up, Rester felt something on his leg. He looked down to see the L plushie that Near usually played with when he was having a bad day as L, but there was something off about the plushie. Rester glanced over to the pile of plushies he had landed in earlier to see the L plushie lying comfortable on top of the Kira plushie.

Rester looked back at the other L plushie, but he noticed that this plushie had feral red eyes. It could not be an L plushie, but Rester had no idea who it could be. Rester closed his eyes and pinched the brow of his nose. He did not have time for this. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the not-L plushie had moved on top of the Mello plushie who was struggling underneath it, trying to avoid the not-L plushie's advances.

Rester's eyes widened. "Plushies are not alive. I'm hallucinating. Those plushies are _not_ attempting to have a plushie make-out session," he muttered to himself. "I _really _need a vacation."

Rester left quickly, and when he did, the Mello and B plushie stopped moving. Instead, the huge pile of plushies began to shift. Near popped out of the pile with a remote control in his hand. He pressed a few buttons, and the modified B and Mello plushies walked back into the plushie pile. Near smiled and sunk slowly back into his plushie pile.


End file.
